Sunday, 5 January 2014

Australian Chess Championship round 5,6 + ban on Twirling

Hippo to the rescue :-) This morning I faced my highest rated opponent so far and played my first decent game, without oversight or blunder, or rather none that I am aware of. I cannot use my engine {stockfish} anymore because my laptop keeps shutting down when I do. Time for a new one soon.

Watch the dance of the knights. I guess 12.Ne1 allowed black to take over the initiative and white never recovered. In any case whites chosen system will not put the Hippo on the endangered list.

The second game is still a mystery to me. I thought I had a clear advantage after 14 moves. Two bishops, half open files, strong pawn centre etc. Well very soon I was a bit worried. If black just retreats his rook on move 26, he should be at least fine. Zachary lost the thread around here and gave me a passed d pawn.
It went downhill from there.

Other chess news. Twirling.

Well you have probably heard of twerking recently. A girl who used to be Hannah Montana is now Miley Cyrus and has been shaking her Gluteus Minimus to the sound of music. Having seen similar activities in Cuba, I can tell you she is not doing it right.

Well, Queensland chess prodigy, International women's master Alexandra Jule has now stunned the theoreticians by inventing Twirling. Twirling is the art of slowly placing a lock of your long soft glistening hair in your finger and  seductively running it along the outside of the lock...around and around and around. This tactic has been known to paralyse the male brain, making it impossible to form coherent thought.

Alexandra's opponent only had one chance and he took it. He complained that the twirling was disturbing him and it was decided that Miss Jules hair would be tied up. Too soft on crime I say. What message does that send to all those young girls with long hair? A haircut I say!

This follows on from a story about the European Chess Union legislating on women's clothing in tournaments here are some links

The Cleavage Gambit is ancient theory but until recently nobody has found a refutation. The ECU has taken some steps, like mandating the length of skirts and number of buttons that may be undone {2}. It is now safer for us males to play in open tournaments. Now that twirling has been identified, regulatory authorities should move quickly before it gets out of hand.  No hair below chin should do it.

Tomorrow is the rest day and lightning championship. I will take some pictures instead :-)

1 comment:

  1. let's not forget down and dirty twinging, suggestively fingering one`s earrings with the aim of distracting and possibly blinding the opponent with reflections. I will never feel safe on the board until somebody mercilessly pulls those darn things from vagabond lasses.